remember your cosmic roots

anyway, don’t be a stranger

i want to know your soul from the inside out

love to just get into some of your stories

me and all of my plain jane glory

life genuinely feels so pointless to me,

i have no motivation to work my way out of darkness

i cannot scratch away the feeling of wanting to take my own life no matter how much i try to dig it out of my skin

i’m so humiliated to be myself

i want to mutilate myself

i picture this beautiful and simple life and the more i think about it the more it feels like an unobtainable dream

i don’t want to be around any of my family or friends

the only person i feel comfortable around is my boyfriend and even at that i am so embarrassed by myself that im scared

im so fucking scared and my parents don’t even care to hold me, i could fall apart and take my final breath in my bedroom right now and no one would check on me.

everything hurts

if jesus died for all of our sins

he left one behind , the body im in

i find myself in the bottom feeders

i see myself in the seagulls that hound the park goers for crumbs of their picnics

i cry for the roadkill i pass in the street, for i see my own body lying there, empty handed, stranded.

i cannot help but feel sorry for myself,

to grip handfuls of moss and see bugs as mirrors of myself.

i am the wind, i am brittle leaves, i am a deserted pond, overgrown with algae and tadpoles. forgotten.

i am a vulture and i am the mouse in it’s mouth.

i am a forgotten tree house, i am used batteries

people pretend to care about me until they see me cry for help then it’s as if they can’t hear or see me

worldclassdisaster:

i feel unloved sometimes because i remember no matter how much someone may love me it’ll never compare to the raging and completely helpless, mentally ill obsession that runs through my veins. i will love violently from the core of my being and they will love me at natural capacity.